“Why would I want to bring a child into this world with all the horrible things going on?” “My situation is terrible. I can’t bring a child into this.” “He/she could have all sorts of health problems because it runs in my family. I don’t want that for my kid.”
All of these are reasons women have spoken to me as I listened to their reasons for seeking abortion. I want to be sympathetic; after all, my own children are living in this scary world and deal with health problems, difficult people, and difficult situations, etc. Shouldn’t I want to end their “suffering” too?
Absolutely! We moms (and dads–but I can only speak to being a mom) suffer when our kids suffer. We hurt when they hurt. In fact, there’s scientific evidence that the stem cells we carry in our bodies from having carried our children remain with us for life. This phenomenon, called fetal-maternal microchimerism, can lead to fetal cells residing in various maternal tissues for decades after birth. These fetal cells can act like stem cells, potentially aiding in tissue repair and regeneration. Some even speculate that this aids in that mother/child bonding and intuition. When our kids are in pain, we feel it, sometimes physically.
We want our kids to be happy, but sometimes their happiness is out of our control. We can’t fix every problem. So instead we must teach them how to suffer and how to recover. Who we are both physically and emotionally/spiritually is birthed through suffering.
In April of 2022, my brother, Nate was diagnosed with 5 brain tumors stemming from melanoma that had metastasized to his brain. As he went through treatment, if you asked him how he was doing, he would say, and still says, “It’s the best day of my life.” Well, that’s weird for someone suffering from 5 brain tumors. So many people would ask him why. His response? “It’s the only day I have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised. There is only right now.”
We all suffer. Whether is be from health problems, mental struggles, relationship struggles, finances, etc., we can all put ourselves into one or more categories of pain and heartache at one point or another in our lives. There is no getting away from pain and suffering. Therefore, we must instead learn to deal with it, and even more, to trust God and to thrive as a result. How much more can we appreciate the good in life when we’ve seen the bad?
I look at clients like Shamara, (see her daughter Rubiie Rt
) who chose to focus on the good in the midst of a bad situation. I look at my staff, who are experiencing high levels of spiritual warfare and are handling it with grace, and I see God in the midst of all of it. I see all of these things, and I’m hopeful because I know God is working even in the suffering.
God shows up in our lowest moments. He’s with us in the fire. He’s with us in the lion’s den. He draws us close, heals our wounds, and sends us back to help others.
So when the woman at OCC talks about her child’s potential suffering, we offer peace. When she tells us her concerns, we meet them with answers and support. And when she celebrates the birth of her baby, we celebrate with her!
Ending the child isn’t the answer. Easing the suffering is. When we take on this mindset, no matter what we encounter, we can honestly say, “It’s the best day of my life.” Praise God.